Moments
by ameliaapond
Summary: She was going to take Broadway by storm, while he would take the music industry with his badass attitude and his killer voice. What was the point of living when his only reason for living was gone? Song fic. Rated T for character death and suicide.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know, I'm a terrible person. I haven't written anything in god knows how long. But, alas! I'm here. The fic is based on the song "Moments" by One Direction. If you haven't listen to the song before I implore you to so. It's written by our saviour, Jesus Christ Ed Sheeran and the song is just magnificent. Even if you don't like One Direction, listen to it. It's a brilliant song.  
>And just a warning, this will be a very angsty and depressing fan-fic.<br>Also, if you find any grammatical mistakes or mistakes of any kind, please tell me.

This is un-beta-ed so apologies for any spelling mistakes.

I don't own anything. If I did, well let's just say Finchel would be no more.

xXx

Noah Puckerman lay on his bed, crumpled paper in his still shaking hands. Still in his immaculate but simple black suit. He just had to endure the hour and a half of his girlfriend's, the love of his life, the only person who understood him. Her funeral.

**Shut the door**

**Turn the light off**

**I wanna be with you**

**I wanna feel your love**

**I wanna lay beside you**

**I cannot hide this**

**Even though I try  
><strong>  
>He had to endure crying teenagers, pretending they gave two fucks about her. While he stood there, unmoving, his little sister's small hand in his, while she cried into his black dress pants. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to live without her being next to him. She was going to take Broadway by storm, while he would take the music industry with his badass attitude and his killer voice. What was the point of living when his only reason for living was gone?<p>

When he was first told by Rachel's dads, he didn't know what to do. What did they expect him to do? He was jaded by nature. He _never _showed anyone his emotions apart from her. He made a silent promise to contain his tears until he was alone.

"_She got h-hit by a dr-drunk driver. Swerved on-onto the sidewalk. The doctor's say she died on impact. No pain. No pain, Noah. At least she didn't die in agony." Leroy told him hiccupping._

He didn't fucking care if she died a painless death. She shouldn't have died at all.

"_Out of all the people in the world; the pedophiles, rapists and drug dealers, why did she have to die?" He though while talking his anger out on the wall behind his bed._

The only thing the filled his brain was the thought of her mangled body, laying lifeless on the sidewalk, while the stupid fucking drunk driver stood there in shock. The driver would take one last look at her body and stagger back to his death mobile.

**If we could only have this life  
>For one more day<br>If we could only turn back time**

The day after Rachel's funeral, he didn't want to go back to school. He didn't care if finals were on. What was the point of even doing the tests if they meant nothing to him? But his Ma forced him to.

"Come on Noah. Rachel would have wanted you to have a good education. She would have wanted you to go to school." She said with her small voice.

"You don't know that! She gone! You can't be sure she would say that, because _she's not here anymore_. "He told his mother in a low voice.

" What? So you think she would have wanted you to mope around the house all day, like a zombie. Throw away the 2 years hard work you have put in at school just because she's not here? Jesus, I know she's gone, I here you yelling almost every night for her to come back. It pains me to say this to you Noah, but she isn't. She isn't coming back. She's gone. Forever. And the sooner you comprehend that, the sooner you can get on with your life. Now, go have some breakfast and go to school. Now." Aviva Puckerman hated to say those words to her only son, her baby boy, but they needed to be said. Better her than anyone else.

**Don't wanna be without you  
>My judgments clouded<br>Like the night sky**

The day at school had been horrible to say the least. Everyone was giving him sympathetic looks. He didn't want their sympathy. Their sympathy wasn't going to bring Rachel back. He was lying down on the dewy grass in his backyard. The exact place where, all of 2 weeks ago, he lay with a very alive Rachel Berry.

"_For your birthday, I'm gonna buy you your very own star. That metaphor shit is getting old. You can have your own actual star. Just to show everyone how much of a star you're gonna be babe." Noah said while Rachel stared at him with her big, brown doe-like eyes that quickly filled with tears._

"_That is possibly the nicest thing anyone has said to me. Thank you Noah .I love you. " She replied while giving him a small chaste kiss on his pink lips._

"_Love you too Rach." He whispered into her mouth._

He did buy her the star. The morning right after that convocation. The piece of paper confirming it came in the mail the day of her death. Along with her favourite stuffed animal, her small collection of Broadway CD's and a picture of New Direction, she was buried with that piece of paper.

**Hands are silent**

**Voice is numb**

**Try to scream out my lungs**

**It makes this harder**

**And the tears stream down my face**

Rachel father's let him see the body. He wasn't too sure how he was going to react, but he needed to see her one last time. Even if it was just to say goodbye.

He was lead into the room and left there, with her pale lifeless body to say goodbye. He took one look at her eyes and broke.

His knees buckled and his legs gave out. He tried to scream out, to yell and plead for her to come back but his voice was numb. He lay on the white tiled floor for a good 5 minutes before standing up and trying to compose himself. He grabbed hold of her hand, expecting it to be warm and inviting, but he was met with cold. He shut his eyes, took a few deep breathes and started to speak.

"I miss you already. I keep on asking myself why you, why that gorgeous young beauty that has a voice like an angel. Why you? I love you Rachel. I love you so fuckin' much and I want to know why you were taken from me. Your star arrived today. Kinda bittersweet isn't it?" He took another deep breath and swallowed loudly, trying to get rid of the huge lump that started to form in his throat. "I was gonna propose graduation day. I knew you would decline; tell me that we should wait until our careers have taken off. Then you would grab m-my face and kiss me, telling me that you love me and you will always say yes, but not right now. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. You're not here, which means there really isn't any reason. But I will power on for as long as I can. Which I hope isn't very long. I will be with you soon Rach, I promise." He kissed her forehead, then her lips and left.

**If I could lie to my mind**

**Going back to the time**

**Playing games in the street**

**Kicking balls with my feet**

Remembering when he was little was always a sore spot for him. His dad. His stupid fucking dad that left him and his heavily pregnant mother all alone because having a wife and 2 kids was never in his 15 year plan. But one of the better memories was meeting Rachel. He was seven, she was six. It was their first year of school. They already knew each other quite well from Temple, so they were each other's best friend. If she was being pushed around by some of the guys, Noah would step in and threaten to bash the crap out of them if they went near "his Rach" again.

Noah was over at Rachel's house on weekend, playing board games and watching movies, when her dad decided they should go outside and play. It was a lovely day and they shouldn't let this lovely Spring weather go to waste. The decided to grab one of Rachel's pink soccer balls to kick around in her front yard. They spend almost two hours in the lovely sun, until Rachel's Daddy calls them in for lunch. Rachel was giggling and her eyes were as sparkly as ever, with her long brunette hair glinting in the sunlight. Noah felt stupid to think about stuff like that. He didn't like girls. They were gross and pink. But he always found her stunningly beautiful. When his mother came to pick him up Rachel kissed his cheek and thanked him for the lovely day they had spent together. He blushed and splutter out a "thank you" while the adults cooed.

**There's a numb in my toes**

**Standing close to the edge**

**There's a pile of my clothes**

**At the end of your bed**

**As I feel myself fall**

**Make a joke of it all**

Noah got up out up out of his bed, wiping his tired eyes and walked out of the house to his beat-up bright orange truck. Rachel's parents and his mother and sister were still at the small bowling club where they were having the wake. Noah didn't think he could handle any more people from his school pretend they cared about Rachel.

He drove to her house, getting out of his truck and opening the Berry's front door. After a year of Rachel and himself going out, her Hanukah present to him was a key to her house. Needless to say he was more than pleased.

He walked up the flight of stairs that lead to her bedroom. He slowly open the door, letting her still lingering smell envelop his nostrils. He closed the door behind him firmly and locked it. He looked around her bedroom, taking in all of the small things that she had on her bright yellow walls. The trophies and ribbons from various dance recitals and singing competitions, A collage of pictures of him and Rachel, Rachel and Santana, as well as pictures taken at Sectionals, Regionals and Nationals over the almost three year period as well as the alarming amount of stuffed animals that covered her duvet.

He pulled an envelope from out of his pocket and placed it on her nightstand. He really didn't think he needed to put any names on it. They would know it was from him. He pulled out from his other pocket a bottle of various colored pills and a small bottle of water. He downed the pills on one go and drank all of the water in one large gulp. He collapsed onto her fluffy duvet, smiling to himself. He thought that is was funny that a few weeks ago he would never have thought of taking his own life. His like was perfect. He laughed a bit before falling into a deep sleep. A sleep that he would never wake up from. His breathing was low, ragged and desperate, until he took one final breath.  
>His last thoughts were not of his family, nor of his friends, but how he was going to see Rachel again. And that he was going to be able to see her beautiful smiley face for the rest of eternity.<p>

**You know I'll be**

**Your life**

**Your voice**

**Your reason to be**

**My love**

**My heart**

**If breathing for this**

**Moment**

**In time**

**I'll find the words to say**

**Before you leave me today**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know I said that this story was only a one-shot/songfic, but! I decided to do even more angst-ridden writing with this chapter. And also, I found out my English teacher read this story, which was entirely weird when she came up and asked if I was "ameliaapond". Also, if you find any grammatical mistakes or mistakes of any kind, please tell me.**

**This is un-beta-ed so apologies for any spelling mistakes. **

**Unless by beta you mean spell check.**

**Anyway, I don't own anything.**

***/***

Aviva Puckerman was the one to find his body. Her baby boy was nowhere to be seen at the wake, so she expected he just went home, to be left with his thoughts. This wasn't the way she liked to leave her only son, given the circumstances.

When the wake was over, with a tearful slideshow of Rachel's life, most of the pictures had her Noah in them; herself and Sarah left Lima Bowling Club.

She arrived home in her beat-up sedan. She opened up the front door and called Noah's name. With no reply, she proceeded to call his name again. She had a pang of anxiety straight through her stomach, and walked up the stairs to her son's bedroom. The door was closed, which made her even more frightened. She opened the door, at the same time she sucked in a quick breath. The bedroom was empty. Aviva started to hyperventilate, thinking the worst happened to her son. She called up everyone her son would have known. Finn Hudson; hadn't seen Puck since the funeral earlier today. Mike Chang; The last time he had seen her son was driving away from the funeral. Rory MacDonald, one of Puck's friends from football, hadn't seen him since the last day of school. By this time, she was getting nervous.

Just as she was about to call the Berry's, she got a phone call.

"Hello?" Aviva asked a quiver in her voice.

"Aviva, Noah's truck is out the front of our house." Leroy said.

"Oh, thank god, is he in the car?" She asked, relief raining over her.

"No, I think he is inside. I think you should come over." Leroy replied.

"I'll be right over, give my 10 minutes. See you soon." Aviva said as she hung up the phone.

She sent Sarah over to Mrs Adler's house. She was a nice old Jewish lady that loved Sarah to pieces.

She drove over to the Berry's house, which was over the other side of town. She parked opposite the house and climbed out of her car, slamming the door shut.

The group silently walked to the house. Leroy opened the door and led her up to Rachel's bedroom. They left Aviva to her own devices. The Berry's already knew what was happening.

She opened the door and screamed.

Her son, her _baby boy_ was lying pale and lifeless on Rachel's bed. His eyes were closed, and he had a small peaceful smile on his normally tanned face. She ran to his body, dragged him onto the floor and held his body close to her chest as she sobbed. Her heart broke into a million pieces as it finally dawned on her; in the space of a week, she lost two of her children.

She begged, _pleaded _with her son's lifeless body for him to come back. Her hot tears streamed down her face, and splashed silently onto Puck's. Hiram and Leroy walked into their daughter's room. They didn't look over to Aviva and Noah. They felt that this was a moment that should be left between the two, even if they wanted to tell her everything will be alright.

Hiram knew that Noah would have written a letter. Noah Puckerman wasn't heartless; he would have wanted to give his mother, sister and friends some sort of closer. Leroy found it, lying on One of Rachel's bedside table. It wasn't addressed, but Leroy knew it was for them.

As much as they didn't want to, the pried Aviva's hand off Noah's still crisp dress shirt and pulled the broken woman over to Rachel's desk. She sat her down on the soft computer chair, and handed Aviva the note.

With shaky hands, she opened the note. She cleared her throat and took a few deep breaths before she began to speak.

"_Well, everyone know, I was shit at writing anything. But, I hope that this will kinda be enough._

_First off, Ma, I'm so sorry to do this to you. Imagining you finding me is breaking my heart, and it hurts to know that you will have to. But I need to do this Ma. Rachel needs me. I need her. When I thought about my future, she was always there. Now she's gone, I see nothing. And I know I could never recover, and I couldn't do that to you or Sarah. Because I know that if I left myself, I would turn out like Dad. And it would kill me to know that I made you feel anymore hurt or pain than I have already caused you. I just want to let you know I love you, and I want you to remember me. Not how I was before, but how I was when I was with Rachel. Also Ma, I want you to put all the money I have in my bank to Sarah's collage account. I want her to become whatever she wants, and I know that you only had a bit in it, but hopefully the money I have will be enough for her to go through. There is also an engagement ring in my top draw under my sheet music. Give it to Sarah when she's old enough?_

_Sarah: Squirt, I'm sorry I have left you alone. I'm sorry you won't have anyone to help you with your homework. But, remember, I love you. I want you to have my guitar. I know you have been taking classes and you had to use my shitty old one. So, take it. Jazz it up with stickers and shit. It's yours.  
>Also, if anyone hurts you, I want you to tell them that your big brother's ghost will fuck them up if they touch you again. Love you squirt.<em>

_Finn: You're a fucking idiot. But you're still my best friend. And I hope you are happy with whichever broad settles for you. Love ya man. _

_Quinn: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fucked up your life. I'm sorry I made sure we didn't get custody of Beth. I'm sorry that I won't be there with you to know how Beth is going. I'm just so fucking sorry. But I hope life is good to you, and you won't forget me, or the short time we spent together. Next time you see Beth tell her I love her. And I will watch over her. _

_Santana: I will miss your bitchness, but to be honest, I will miss you too. You become sort of the third part to Rachel and me. And I'm sorry that we both left you. But you have Britt. And I know you will become a kick-ass lawyer that will fight to the death if you have to, to ensure that you win. And I know you two will get married, which Britt will plan, and it will look good-fucking-awful, but you will still enjoy it. And I know your kids will was smokin'. Anyway, I fucking love you and I will miss you, you crazy bitch._

_Mr. Berry's: Thank you for inviting me into your family. It made me feel so wanted, and you made the most kickass food for me. You two were my surrogate dad's which I will never, EVER forget. I'm sorry that you are losing two of your children. And I'm sorry that I kinda did it in your house. Which, now that I think about it, was an ass-y thing to do. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for making my life so much better._

_And _

_Glee: Thank you for making my life so much more worthwhile. And it's true, being a part of something special, most definitely makes you special. I hope you all reach your full potential, and you will always sing. You guys fucking rock and I am so glad that I made friends with each and every one of you. Have fun at Nationals, and I hope you take that trophy from St Douche Bag's glitter covered hands. I love you guys. And I am so glad that you guys were in my life as much as you were._

_Can you please burry me with these things._

_A picture of Rachel and I.  
>A picture of the Glee club, the one that's on my bedside table.<br>A picture of Beth and I.  
>A picture of Sarah and I.<br>The pick Rachel engraved for me.  
>My I-pod<br>the box of notes Rachel wrote me._

_Also, can you please play the song "_Moments_" by One Direction (Shut up San!) Rachel liked the song and it is most defiantly the song I think of when I think of Rachel and I. I love you all._

_Noah "Puck" Puckerman."_

*/*

Aviva read out the note at Noah wake. The respective people already read it, but he felt that everyone needed to hear it. Each one of the Glee clubbers picked a song to play, but Noah Puckerman was buried to the sounds of Moments, softly floating out of the glee clubbers mouths.

The Puckerman house hold was a big void. The entire kitchen table was covered with food from the small Jewish community. Sarah stayed in her room and cried. While playing some of Noah's easier music.

*/*

New Directions won Nationals. They dedicated their performance to Rachel and Noah.

They sung _Don't Stop Believin', _and finished up with_ Moments. _They were overjoyed, but the all felt a little pang of sadness, knowing that Rachel and Noah weren't here with them, celebrating.

*/*

Sarah went through school, got into NYU, with the help of Noah's funds. When she graduated, Aviva gave Sarah the ring, which she engraved with "Squirt". Sarah is still wearing the ring, which hasn't left her finger for 15 years. Unless she's at work. She's a midwife now. Which, when she told Noah's grave, she thought she heard the distinct sound if Puck's snort.

*/*

Santana and Brittany Lopez named their first son "Noah Benjamin Lopez" and their daughter "Lilly Rachel Lopez". They felt that naming their children after their best friends would settle the uneasiness that Implanted itself into Santana and Brittany's stomach since the end of senior year.

*/*

Every year they would visit Lima, Ohio and visit their friend's graves.

They would crowd around the tombstones, with their children, and introduce them to their "Aunt Rae and Uncle Puck" The group would sing to them and visit Rachel and Puck's parent's houses for dinner. They had done this tradition for 15 years.

*/*

When Beth was 18, she decided to find her birth parents. Shelby didn't hide her biological parents from her, showing newer pictures of Quinn and her children every six months. But she was confused about not seeing any new pictures of her father. Shelby drove Beth to the Lima cemetery, and showed her daughter to two tombstones.

"Noah Puckerman is your father. And next to him is your sister, Rachel Berry. Rachel was hit by a car a few months before graduation. And Noah committed suicide a week after. But I can tell you right now Beth, that he loved you so much. With him, is a picture of you when you were a baby. And I'm so sorry you wouldn't meet him. He was wonderful." Shelby said, with a tear in her eye.

They began to walk away, but Beth stopped. She kissed her fingers, and touched Puck and Rachel's tombstone, before she showed the tombstone her acceptance letter to Julliard. She walked away quickly, but will always remember her father. The first original song she sang to a crowd, she dedicated it to her father and his girlfriend. Who even though she had never met before, she will always love them and they will always have a spot in her heart.

**A/N: It feels like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know so many of you wanted a second chapter, but I didn't think I had it in me to actually write it. This is the most angsty fic I have ever done, so I hope you enjoyed it. Review if you really liked it? They mean the absolute world to me! Sorry if the ends a bit botchy. I couldn't convey what I was thinking into words and this is kinda what came out. **

**Don't Stop Believin' - Glee Cast (listen to the regionals one, but, you know, forget Rachel and Puck's voices)  
>Moments – One Direction (LISTEN TO THE SONG IT WAS WRITTEN BY ED SHEERAN AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTELY AMAZINGLY WRITTEN SONG AND IT TELLS THE STORY I'M TRYING TO CONVEY SO MUCH BETTER!)<strong>

**A/N 2: And thank you to my lovely "sister" Sarah, for getting me started in the note. Which I can tell you know, took a lot out of me. **


End file.
